


We Wouldn't Be We

by HeyBoy, Miri Cleo (miri_cleo)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Big Bang Challenge, Drunk Sex, F/F, Grief/Mourning, POV May Parker, POV Pepper Potts, Pepper Potts Needs a Hug, Post-Canon, Protective Pepper Potts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:06:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26035381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeyBoy/pseuds/HeyBoy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/miri_cleo/pseuds/Miri%20Cleo
Summary: When Pepper swooped in to rehabilitate Peter's image, neither she nor May knew what they were getting into.
Relationships: May Parker/Pepper Potts
Comments: 10
Kudos: 31
Collections: Marvel Femslash Big Bang 2020





	We Wouldn't Be We

**Author's Note:**

> Fic by Miri_Cleo  
> Art by HeyBoy
> 
> Many thanks to GlassesOfJustice for beta work and constant cheerleading.

The alert had popped up in the middle of a teleconference. It hadn't even been one of the feeds Pepper usually watched, but when she went to dismiss it, she realized she was going to have to end the call again. Now, she was in the car on her way to Queens at the worst possible time of day. Pepper had her phone sandwiched between her shoulder and her ear as she talked, and she was also typing on her tablet. 

"...the fact remains that Stark Industries stands behind both Peter Parker and Spider-Man. No...no, that is unequivocally false." She pursed her lips. "You've seen our statement. If you want to ask the same question at the press conference tonight, please do."

This was one of those moments when she wished flip phones were still a thing because it made hanging up so much more satisfying. Instead, she just handed the phone to her assistant and put her tablet on the seat beside her as she closed her eyes. 

"Mrs. Potts you have several more outlets requesting quotes."

Pepper bristled. It wasn't just that she hated being called Mrs. She wasn't Mrs. Potts--that was her mother. It was the reminder though. The title, the ring on her finger… None of it would bring Tony back. 

"I'm not talking to anyone else until the presser. I don't care if I owe favors. Please get...whoever is running the Avengers now on the phone." There was a pang in Pepper's heart as she realized how _Natasha_ had almost slipped off of her tongue. Too many losses. She couldn't focus on any of them now. 

It wasn't clearing Peter's name that Pepper was worried about. It was the fact that in order to do it, Pepper had to let on that Tony had given a multimillion dollar, dangerously accurate security system to a seventeen year old kid who had, predictably, completely fucked up the responsibility. How Beck duped S.H.I.E.L.D. was Nick Fury's problem. How Beck duped Peter...well, as far as Pepper was concerned, that was Fury's problem too. But, what exactly Stark Industries was doing with a globally active surveillance and defense system, as well as why and how it so easily fell into the wrong hands, was Pepper's. 

"Colonel Rhodes is on the phone."

Pepper took it, settling it between her shoulder and ear again. "You're running the Avenger's now?"

"Something like that. E.D.I.T.H., Pepper? Really?"

"Don't start, Rhodey. The Avengers haven't released a statement yet…"

There was a long pause on the line. "Look, I'm doing my best here. Without Cap, Tony…" Another pause and Pepper hardened her heart to her own thoughts before tears threatened. "The kid killed someone."

Pepper felt her cheeks flush with anger. "Get with Fury, get both of your statements hammered out. Rhodey, you have to trust me when I tell you this isn't what it looks like. Peter needs the Avengers behind him right now."

"Maybe you want to enlighten me on what you know that I don't then, Pepper because from where I'm sitting…"

"Check your email. Get back to me later." She hung up before he could answer and took a deep breath at the sight of the crowd of press already around May and Peter's building. Then Happy was opening her door and ushering her through the sea of phones and questions. Pepper had done this so many times both as the figure behind Tony keeping his shit together and as the center of attention that she barely noticed. 

If May said anything before buzzing them up, Pepper couldn't hear it. And when May opened the apartment door for them, Pepper could see the worry bordering on frenzy in her eyes. She didn't expect the full weight of May's body against her in a desperate hug, but Pepper was quick to accept it, enveloping May in her arms. Peter sat on the sofa, head down, staring at his hands, and Pepper caught the slight scent of lemon and patchouli from May's hair as they pulled apart. 

"Thank you for coming. I just...I'm in shock. How did they get this information?" May paused, blinking hard. "Oh...hi, Happy."

"May. Hi. Hello." Happy swallowed. Pepper pretended Happy hadn't cried on her shoulder when he discovered May hadn't taken things as seriously as he had. But right now, she wasn't thinking about sparing his feelings. The tension there was obvious but Pepper ignored it.

"Happy," she said and his gaze snapped back to her, "can you go make sure the setup for the press conference is secure?" squeezing May's arm before making her way over to Peter. His eyes were rimmed in pink, and she realized he hadn't even changed out of his suit. He was holding the mask, worrying it with his fingers. He didn't even look up when Pepper sat next to him. 

She fought back the annoyance bordering on anger. Peter was every bit the picture of a petulant teenager. But this wasn't getting caught sneaking out or wrecking the family car. He'd fought to save the entire universe. And he was still grieving Tony too. Pepper put her hand firmly on his, pulling the mask away.

"Peter," Pepper's voice was soft but it was not gentle, "I need you to tell me what happened."

"You don't...have the footage?" She saw genuine fear in his eyes. 

"I have the footage. The undoctored footage. But I need to hear it from you because I am about to go out there and tell the world that I have your back, that not only am I personally behind you but so is Stark Industries, so are the Avengers. And you're going to be standing right beside me."

He looked back down at his hands, and Pepper was reminded of how young he really was. "I thought...I really thought I was doing the right thing...that...that Tony would know I couldn't...I can't handle this…"

"Tony was an idiot," Pepper said flatly. Such an idiot. "But he saw a better version of himself in you, Peter. And I need you to live up to that."

His face contorted as if her words caused him actual, physical pain, and Peter bit his lip. Pepper pushed her own feelings aside, her hurt and grief. Because if she opened herself up to Peter in that way, Pepper knew she couldn't go outside and face what was waiting for them.

"I don't know what to do."

"Get up. Wash your face. Go put on your other suit, the nanotech one--better optics. You let me talk, you read this," she said, pulling a set of neatly printed notecards out of her pocket, "and you let me take any questions."

Peter looked at the cards, brow furrowed, and Pepper's heart ached for a past that seemed a lifetime ago. "They'll be projected onto your glasses--yes, you're wearing the glasses--and if you deviate from them by one word, Peter, so help me god…"

"I get it...I...okay. I get it. Um...thank you." He looked like he wanted to say more, but either he thought better of it or couldn't bring himself too. As Peter walked back to his bedroom Pepper stood, letting May drift toward her. The worry lined May's face, but even with that she still had this freshness about her that one couldn't fake. 

"You don't think that was a little harsh?" May crossed her arms. Pepper found it instantly endearing. 

"It's not anything compared to what he's about to face...and you."

"Me?" May shook her head. "I'll fight tooth and nail for him."

Pepper couldn't help but smile. "I don't doubt it, but he has to fight for himself too. And…" She shook her head and looked around. "The reason people don't do what Tony did is because it puts everyone around them, everyone they love in danger. Peter wants to keep you safe. Now add that to any...other guilt Peter may still be feeling..."

"I just want him to be a kid." May held up her hand to stop Pepper from replying. "I know. He's not a child. That ended the second he decided to make himself a suit. But it was really before that, Pepper--can I call you Pepper because I really feel like I should. He grew up when Ben…" May pursed her lips before taking a deep breath. "None of that changes the fact that he's hurting, and he deserves more than this. I can't just stand by…"

"You're not. We're not." Pepper felt her phone buzz but she resisted grabbing it. "I am mounting an aggressive publicity campaign to rehabilitate Spider-Man's image. And you are here for Peter, which is the most important part." Pepper stood back and looked May over, noting the simplicity of her makeup. "You're going to look pale on camera, but that's probably good."

If Pepper stopped to think about it, she would have acknowledged that May was going to look good on video, in photos, probably even in paparazzi shots. With her long hair and easy style, there was something effortless and cool about her that made her seem approachable. And it wasn't just her style. She was attractive--beautiful, Pepper corrected herself in her own quick thoughts. She and Peter were an attractive family, which could go one of two ways: their quirky, all American geek style would win over detractors or everyone would love to hate them. Pepper had seen both sides of the coin too many times to count. 

"We're going to go down. I'm going to start by introducing Peter. He'll give a short statement. Then I'll give a statement and take questions. All you need to do is stand at Peter's side and look concerned."

"I _am_ concerned."

"I know, and that means it won't be disingenuous." 

Peter appeared, then, in what Pepper had come to think of as the nanosuit, his face completely covered by the mask. Pepper immediately shook her head. "Mask off. We want to show them that you're facing this head on."

"How do you know all of this stuff?" Peter asked as they headed to the elevator. His mask receded, the nanos repurposing themselves elsewhere. 

The noise Pepper made was something between a scoff and a laugh. "I managed Tony Stark for most of my adult life. This was the least of the job hazards."

And the silence that fell on them then was heavy. Pepper closed her eyes to center herself. Thinking of Tony was the last thing she needed to do. He was ever-present, but sometimes she had to lock his memory away in the deepest chambers of her heart to make sure she could continue to function for everyone else. 

*****

Something told May that arguing with Pepper Potts when she was on a mission would be a bad idea. So, she did what she was told. May had seen swarms of press. She was a lifelong New Yorker, and her indie publishing house had been near what used to be a few celebrity hot spots. But seeing them cluttered at the entrance to her building with a wave of phones coming towards her face was nauseating. 

May ended up at Peter's side, so she could see Pepper's face in profile as Pepper stepped up to speak. And if May had thought Pepper was formidable in the apartment, now she seemed downright terrifying. The way she spoke was more stern than grave, and she silenced the crowd with a look as Peter took his place to speak.

"When I was a nine year old kid," he began, Tony Stark's glasses looking too big on his face but hiding the shine May knew was on his eyes, "I...never imagined when I watched…" he swallowed and looked down before continuing, "Iron Man saved my life that day, and I never imagined I could do the kinds of things he did. When I got that opportunity, and it was...uh, I mean...it was an accident, but I...I just tried to do what Mr. Stark would do. And...becoming an Avenger was the scariest day of my life." He swiped at his eyes underneath the glasses, making May's heart ache. "I just wanna keep people safe and give back as much as I can… And that's what I was trying to do in London. And uh...I guess Pepper will explain to you how it's not what you think. I… I'm not a murderer. I'm just...your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man."

When he stepped back, May realized she'd been holding her breath. She wrapped her arm around his shoulders as Pepper silenced the roar of questions again. 

"Less than a week ago Quientin Beck, also known as Mysterio, used a Stark Industries satellite defense system and comprehensive drone system together known as E.D.I.T.H., and patented Binary Augmented Retro-Framing systems to attack the city of London under the auspices of saving it from an invented threat known as Elementals. Beck was a former Stark engineer who left the company involuntarily and gathered a team of other disgruntled former employees. The video that has just been released to your outlets will seem familiar to you. It is the unedited version of the video released by J. Jonah Jameson and the Daily Bugle. This undoctored Stark Industries footage shows Beck controlling the coordinated attack as well as attacking Spider-Man and giving instructions for the release of his version in the event of his death. You have also been provided with details verifying that Beck was indeed a Stark employee and an actual person from Earth as we know it."

The din of questions started again, and May had no idea how Pepper was going to keep her footing. Everyone wanted to know everything at once. But Pepper merely raised her hands. "We're conducting an internal review with HR right now, and between our publicist and in-house counsel, you'll be able to find answers to questions about that because I'm not taking them now. In-house counsel, as well as Congress, would be very upset with me if I said more about E.D.I.T.H. than what's in the release you've been given. No doubt I will see some of you at the hearings that are being scheduled."

My was rendered speechless. If she were a reporter, she would have felt utterly handled. But that was probably why she wasn't one because as soon as Pepper stopped talking, they were shouting her name again. 

"What can you tell us about how a high schooler ended up with this system?"

Pepper pursed her lips. Her face looked hard, almost like a mask she put up to protect herself. "I can tell you that Peter Parker will be a stakeholder in the company when he is of age. I can also tell you that Tony viewed Peter as his successor, and I do too. That's all for now. Any other questions should be directed to our publicist."

May blinked, hard. She was fairly sure she was gaping as well. She knew Tony had left Peter stock and even a trust fund that Pepper was overseeing. Morgan Stark was Tony's child, his _heir_ , and what Tony left Peter was already beyond generous. He would never have to pay another dime for his education--not that he couldn't get scholarships on his own merit. He would never have to struggle a day in his life now. But his _successor_...

She realized Peter was pulling her back inside the building, following Pepper, but May's mind was racing. "What...what exactly does that mean, successor? What are we talking about here? I don't…"

"May, please," Peter pleaded, pulling the glasses off as he herded her into the elevator. 

"Pepper." May turned to her in the elevator. For the first time, she saw the circles under Pepper's eyes. She wondered how dark her own were. "I need to understand what's going on."

"Peter has access to everything." Pepper faced her, looked straight into her eyes. "Everything that was Tony's--his labs, his work. Morgan is five years old. She's not building robots or circuit boards or hacking my phone. She's bright, but she's not everything that Tony was. Peter can be. He has a stake in the company. He has a job in R&D after college if he wants it. If he just wants to use the labs, he can. If he wants to intern with me to see how to actually run the company--something Tony was patently disinterested in--he can."

"Why didn't you tell us all of this?"

"He's seventeen." Pepper sighed and leaned back against the wall. "I didn't want to overwhelm him."

May couldn't control it. A peal of laughter escaped her lips, and she couldn't stop it. Even when tears sprang from the corners of her eyes, she was still laughing. "This…" she began, struggling to get words out and breaths in while still laughing, "this is absolutely ridiculous, you know?"

Pepper only smiled, and the expression was not tired but weary. It was just a flash, a small glimpse behind the composure that May realized Pepper worked to keep. She wanted to squeeze her hand, to hug her quickly and tell her she'd been there. Maybe the scale was different, but May had been a widow with a kid and a job and the weight of the world on her shoulders. 

"Listen," Pepper said as they stepped out of the elevator, "I'm not comfortable with our ability to keep you safe here. I've had our guest suite set up for you both. Pack some things and Happy will be back for you."

"Oh, no," May said as a reflex. "We couldn't impose… Wait, you think we aren't safe?"

"There is a mob out there angry at one person, and now they know that person isn't just Spider-Man. And right behind them are those anti-superhero jerks who make it their jobs to be there any time one of the Avengers is even mentioned. I'd rather not take chances." She clasped her hands in front of her, waiting as May unlocked the door. She didn't follow May and Peter inside, though. And while May's inclination was to argue that they would be fine or could get a hotel or leave town for a little while, she could admit that she was out of her depth here. If Pepper felt they needed to stay with her, they would stay with her.

"Thank you for doing this...all of this."

Pepper nodded. "Happy will be back in a couple of hours. Don't turn on the TV...it's not worth it."

The first thing Peter did when May closed the door was tell Alexa to turn on the TV as he flopped onto the sofa. May sighed before pulling herself together, marching across the room, and using the remote to mute the sound. She put her hands on her hips. 

"You forgot to mention the whole 'advanced satellite drone weapons whatever thing when you told me about your trip. In fact, neither did Happy when he said he was going to help."

"I didn't want to worry you," Peter mumbled.

May let her shoulders drop with her hands as she shook her head. She sank down onto the sofa beside Peter and put her head on his shoulder. "You're worrying me right now."

"I thought...May, I really thought I'd handled it. I know I messed up… I just wanted to spend time with MJ...and, I don't know, be normal."

May sat up. She ached to take this hurt away from him, even if it was just for a second. Aliens and superheroes and world-ending threats weren't exactly the normal teenage experience, but everything Peter was feeling, at the core, was. She took his face in her hands, making him look at her. 

"Sweetie," May said before kissing his forehead, "you're way too much of a geek to be normal."

May hoped that would get a smile, and finally, he couldn't help it. She kissed his forehead again before standing. "Okay, time to pack."

*****

Pepper didn't make it home in time to tuck Morgan in. Quote requests were still coming in after the presser, and certain ones were automatically forwarded to her. And there were the documents the lawyers sent over to review. She'd been making an effort to get home for dinner ever since they moved back to the city. It was some piece of normalcy she could offer Morgan. The penthouse was quiet, and Pepper really didn't expect to see anyone. She headed into the kitchen for a glass of wine, thinking she could have a few moments to herself before doing a little more work. The kitchen light was on, though, and she was surprised to see May wiping down the kitchen counter. 

"Hi…"

May looked up and smiled. "Oh, hi. Welcome home. This place is," she said, pushing up her glasses, "amazing."

"Thanks, I…" Pepper smiled, half self consciously. She and Tony hadn't used this place themselves in years. "I thought everyone would be in bed."

"Oh, they are. Well, Morgan was sound asleep the last time I checked, and Peter..." She shook her head. "I sent the nanny home early; I hope you don't mind."

"You didn't have to do that."

May waved the thought away. "Morgan was so excited to have Peter here. She wore herself out having him build legos and destroy them and build them again." She smiled thoughtfully. "It was good for him."

"This isn't going to get easier for a while." Pepper pulled a bottle out of the wine fridge and rooted around in a drawer for the corkscrew. "For him or for you. Rehabbing Peter's image in the media is important, but ultimately something else will happen and everyone will move on." Pepper twisted the screw into the cork. "I'm most concerned with making sure no charges are brought against him...and, frankly, that Stark Industries can weather this too. "Shit!" she yelped as the corkscrew snapped off into the cork. Pepper let out a long sigh, closing her eyes and throwing her head back.

"Oh, that sucks." 

When Pepper opened her eyes again, May was pulling one of her shoes off. With it in one hand and the bottle in the other, she glanced around the room before her eyes settled on a bare space of wall. 

"What…"

"Oh, don't worry. I used to do this all the time in college. I mean...who had a corkscrew in college?" She put the base of the bottle in the heel of the shoe and started to bang it against the wall. 

"Oh, my god, are you sure that…" But as Pepper stepped forward, she realized that the cork was slowly popping out. Then May turned the bottle upright and used her shirt as leverage to pull it out the rest of the way. "Wow, okay." She took the bottle as May held it out and went to get two glasses. "Well, that saves me from finding a hammer and a screw."

May laughed lightly. "Wow, look at you, Ms CEO. You'll have to show me that one sometime."

Pepper poured two glasses and handed one to May before taking hers and the bottle into the living room. She couldn't help but smile to herself as she sat, pulling one leg underneath her. 

"I wasn't...born into this like Tony was, you know."

"I'm sorry that I assumed. I mean, Tony Stark was born to it, and like attracts like." May sat on the other side of the sofa.

"A lot of people do."

"Well, yeah," May blurted, as if that much was obvious. "Have you ever looked at yourself?"

Pepper demurred. She wasn't exactly immune to compliments, but it was difficult to accept one that was delivered in a way that forced her to acknowledge her own attractiveness. And there was also the fact that she wasn't sure exactly where it was coming from--not to mention that May was attractive herself. 

"I," she began as she rubbed the back of her neck, "don't quite know what to say."

"You're very poised...is what I'm saying." May leaned forward, putting her hand on Pepper's knee to squeeze it for a moment before sitting back. "I'm glad we have you on our side. Thank you."

Pepper smiled. It was nice to hear something as simple as _thank you_. She didn't expect it or even need it. There was absolutely no question that she would defend Peter, regardless of whether Stark Industries technology was involved. Every night for five years after Peter crumbled to dust in Tony's arms, Pepper had lain next to Tony while he tossed and turned, when he sometimes cried out. She'd seen the way his guilt ate at him, the way it made him withdraw until all he could give of himself was what she and Morgan had. And she was glad to have had all of him, glad that Morgan had had that much. And even though bringing Peter back ultimately took Tony away from her, even though a part of her resented Peter for it, Pepper would fight for him. 

"Pepper," May said softly, "are you okay?"

Snapping back to the moment, Pepper realized she was crying. She quickly wiped the tears away from her eyes. "Sorry, it's…" She shook her head. 

"I know." May sighed deeply, and Pepper felt that in her soul. "I don't know how you've done this for so many years without walking away."

"Oh, I tried." Pepper couldn't help a self-deprecating smile. "Tony couldn't walk away from the suits forever, and I...couldn't walk away from Tony."

"You could walk away from Peter though… Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you haven't. But I know you could."

"Well...I don't think it will hurt Peter to have two responsible women in his life."

May smirked as she raised her glass. "Cheers to that." Then she drained it and stood. "I should get to bed. I'm sure you've seen enough of me."

"Sleep well," Pepper said. She thought of adding that May shouldn't hesitate to shout if she needed anything. But given how the night had gone since she got home, Pepper didn't think that was necessary. She let herself sink back further into the cushions, enjoying the silence for just a little while. It was rare between Morgan in one ear and her assistant in the other...and then F.R.I.D.A.Y. doing all the things her assistant couldn't. But she knew if she let herself stay there, she'd lose inertia. So, Pepper refilled her glass before looking in on Morgan and taking her laptop into her office. 

*****  
She opened Morgan's door as quietly as she could, but as soon as Pepper's eyes adjusted, she could see that Morgan was waking up. Rather than retreat, she went inside and sat on the edge of the bed. 

"Hi, Mommy," Morgan whispered, blinking up at Pepper. 

"Hi, pumpkin. You should be sleeping."

"I know, but I heard you open the door. Aunt May and Peter are here."

"I know." Pepper smoothed Morgan's hair and bent down to kiss her forehead. "They're going to stay with us for a little while. Is that okay?"

"Mmhm. I like Aunt May. And Peter too." Morgan yawned and rolled away from Pepper onto her side, closing her eyes again. "Will you stay with me?" she asked. 

"For a little while." Pepper laid down beside her, wrapping her arms around Morgan and spooning her little body. She breathed in the scent of her hair--strawberry kids shampoo Morgan had begged for because the Avengers were on the bottle. Morgan's breaths began to soften as she drifted back to sleep, but Pepper stayed where she was. She didn't want to let go just yet. 

She wondered if Tony's mother had ever looked down into his eyes and felt lost in them. Morgan had the same eyes, and sometimes Pepper felt like they would swallow her whole. As much as she missed Tony, she grieved more for all of the time Morgan wouldn't have with him, all of the things he would never teach her. 

She almost resented the fact that he'd left a trove of recordings. Some were as simple as Tony showing her how to tie her shoes. The others...Pepper couldn't watch. Not yet. Pepper wondered if he'd left similar recordings for Peter. It wouldn't surprise her. But those were for him to look for them would be a betrayal of what Tony meant to Peter and Peter meant to Tony. 

She wondered if May felt this way when her husband passed away--helpless, alone, struggling to comfort a child and clinging to that child for comfort at the same time. Pepper was exhausted. If she could help Peter, she would and not just for Tony's memory. She would protect him the way she would protect Morgan. 

*****

May wasn't necessarily an early riser or a night owl. She'd just never needed that much sleep. That Pepper walked into the kitchen at six-thirty completely dressed and put together didn't surprise her though. Morgan, still in pajamas, slipped out of the breakfast nook and ran to her mother. 

"Mommy, Aunt May is making waffles!" She hugged Pepper tightly before scrambling back into her seat practically vibrating. Like Pepper, Morgan was a morning person, but Pepper had rarely seen her so excited for breakfast. 

"Wow, is she?" Pepper picked Morgan up and kissed the top of her head before putting her back into her seat. "I didn't even know we had a waffle maker."

 _Frozen,_ May mouthed from across the kitchen. And Pepper gave a shrug like she didn't know they had those either. That didn't surprise May in the least. The fridge and freezer literally talked to her when she started making breakfast, so who even knew where the groceries came from. She'd had absolutely no idea how to use the espresso machine, but it turned out that it talked too. 

"So, Peter said last night that basically some kind of computer runs everything."

Pepper nodded as she tamped ground espresso beans and loaded the machine. "F.R.I.D.A.Y., yeah. She runs the house, coordinates schedules...a ton of other things."

"That's incredible. And a little creepy," May said, looking up as if to see if she was being watched. 

As if on cue the voice said, "Mister Hogan is arriving."

"Now?" Pepper rolled her eyes and got a container of yoghurt from the fridge. 

May grabbed the waffles from the toaster, dropping them on the plate quickly but still burning her fingertips. She plopped the plate in front of Morgan and knelt down to eye level. 

"Syrup or powdered sugar?"

"Both!"

"No way," May said at the same time Pepper was shaking her head. "Let's start with syrup."

"Okay," Morgan said with deadly seriousness, "but I get to pour."

May could remember when Peter was this age, and he had that same kind of grown up seriousness that only tragedy can give a child. It broke her heart. But she'd also seen the way Morgan grinned when Peter offered to build legos with her, and the delight at the thought of waffles for breakfast. Peter had turned out okay--and yeah, that was bragging--so she knew Morgan probably would too. 

"Whoa, hey, do I smell waffles?" Happy's voice came from the doorway. He sauntered over and took one off of Morgan's plate, taking a big bite before replacing it. "Thanks, Kiddo. I really needed that."

"Happy, noooo," Morgan said, drawing out the word even as she started to giggle when he tickled her. "That's mine!"

"Yeah, I know, but sharing is caring, right?" He put his hands on his hips and glanced from Morgan to May to Pepper. "Where's the kid? The other kid, I mean. We've got wheels up in two hours. Are you guys trying to kill me or what?"

This time, it was May rolling her eyes while Pepper glanced at her watch. "Two and a half hours, Happy," Pepper said. "I think we'll be just fine."

"I should get Peter up, though," May said. She caught the syrup bottle before Morgan poured too much and capped it closed. As she was walking out of the kitchen, May could hear Happy rummaging for a coffee cup. 

"Hey, so since May and Peter are living here, do you think you could put in a word for me with May? I mean," Happy said, "I know she said it was a summer fling, but…"

"Happy, you need to get on Tinder."

May put her hand over her mouth to cover a laugh. She didn't know which was more funny: Happy on Tinder or Pepper recommending it for him. 

"Are you kidding me? What do you know about Tinder? No, you know what, there's a child present, and…"

May didn't hear the rest as she turned down the hallway for the guest wing--and it was definitely a wing. She and Peter both had multiple rooms suites, and there was even a private kitchen in which Pepper had left a note apologizing that it wasn't stocked. May's own bathroom was bigger than the bedroom in her apartment. But it wasn't really the size that impressed her. The square footage was an unavoidable display of wealth. But everything else--well, except for the entirely computerized talking house thing--wasn't ostentatious in the least. 

When she got to Peter's door, May knocked lightly, opening it before she was even finished. He wouldn't have heard it even if it was the door to the actual bedroom. Somehow, even though they hadn't been there a full twenty-four hours yet, Peter's stuff was already strewn around the living area. May picked up a sofa pillow, and once she got to the bedroom, she chucked it directly at his head. 

"Up and at 'em."

"Oh my god, May," he groaned, covering his face with the duvet. 

"We're having waffles. Come on. Let's go." May reached over to turn on the lamp as Peter blindly felt around for his phone, knocking it to the floor. When May picked it up and the screen woke, she raised her eyebrows. "Peter, you have--wow--six hundred missed calls from Ned...and texts from MJ. What is going on?"

"Just..." He finally sat up and snatched the phone away. "Leave it, okay? I'll be out in a minute."

May sighed, but one thing she prided herself on was knowing when to quit. Right now wasn't the right time to push. Let him get settled, let Pepper help figure things out. Then she could poke around about why he wasn't talking to his friends. It broke May's heart, though. She knew how much MJ meant to him. Peter had told her about the night in Prague. She hadn't been able to pry much beyond that out of him, but it was enough. 

When she got back to the kitchen, Happy was making eggs and bacon like he knew his way around--which made sense. And really, no one made eggs like Happy. May walked behind him to make herself a latte and glanced at his phone. 

"Ooh, she looks nice. You should swipe right." She did it for him.

"Hey!"

"Look, she swiped right on you too!" May delighted in the way Happy's face flushed. He was a good man, and May loved that about him. But he deserved someone who wanted more than just a fun fling. When May realized that, she'd broken it off. She hadn't dated seriously since before she and Ben married. And now that Peter was older...well, May had always been independent. She still wasn't exactly going to bring men or women home, but when Peter was gone for the summer, a fling seemed like just the ticket. 

"You keep your fingers to yourself."

Morgan giggled, and May winked at her behind Happy's back. But she noticed Pepper looking distracted. 

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., any word from Ilse that she's going to be late?" Pepper asked. 

"You granted Miss Wallin a day off for a dental procedure."

"Shit." Pepper bit her lip as Morgan giggled around a big bite of waffle. She rubbed her eyes. "Happy, we may need to push our flight time so I can find a backup for the nanny. I just...completely forgot."

"Don't worry about it," May said. "I can watch Morgan."

"Oh, you don't have to do that," Pepper said automatically.

"I know." May carefully carried her latte over to the breakfast nook. "But I'd be happy to and not just because you're doing so much for Peter."

Pepper looked like she was about to argue, but May saw the slight relaxation in her shoulders. "Thank you. If you need anything, just ask F.R.I.D.A.Y."

May smiled as she sat down. This was the least she could do. She remembered how much someone taking Peter for just an hour or two after Ben's death meant. And if she were being honest with herself, she was hoping Morgan would take enough keeping up with to take her mind off of her worry for Peter. 

*****

*****

It wasn't a long flight, but Pepper settled in to get a few things done. Once they were at altitude, though, the weight of Peter's brooding was enough to become a distraction. She put down her tablet and sighed as she watched him stare out of the window. He hadn't touched the orange juice he'd brought with him, and he was still hugging his backpack to his chest. Pepper sighed heavily as she realized he had Tony's glasses in his hand. 

"You know, he gave those to Fury because he knew I would have waited until you were older."

Peter glanced at her, his eyes unfocused, and Pepper put her work away so she could move to the seat across him. "Don't take this the wrong way, Peter, but I've curtailed your access to E.D.I.T.H."

"I get it," he murmured, looking down. 

"I don't think you do." Pepper touched his hand and gently pried the glasses away. "It's not that I don't trust you. It's that you're a kid, and you already have too much responsibility and only just the right amount of maturity to handle it. You don't need access to armed drones."

"Why…" He swallowed. "Why did Tony do it, then? Why did he leave these for me?"

Pepper folded the glasses and carefully placed them back in his hand. "Because even though Tony knew he could die, might die…" This time Pepper swallowed, trying to keep her own voice steady. "He didn't really think he would, though. He thought he'd have more time with you, more time with Morgan. But…" She shrugged because she didn't trust her own voice if she went on.

Peter wasn't holding back his tears now, and that was something Pepper liked about him. He swiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. "Doctor Strange said there was only one way we would win. He knew… And...and Tony had to know before he snapped…"

"You would have done the same thing." Pepper hated that that was true. 

"Pepper...I…" He shook his head. "How am I supposed to ...go back to normal, I mean...as normal as my life was or whatever?"

"Normal is relative, Peter." Pepper propped her elbow on the armrest and put her chin in her hand. She'd thought life with Tony before he became Iron Man was ridiculous and strange...until it wasn't. Then life was the suits and S.H.I.E.L.D. and aliens and world-ending threats became just as normal too. "Right now, just take things one moment at a time. I'm not promising you I can fix this entirely, but I can clear your name." She reached across the aisle and grabbed her tablet, pulling up one of the newsfeeds she had minimized. With a flick of her fingers, Pepper raised the volume. 

"...seems clear that the doctored footage was designed to falsely implicate Spider-Man, a teenager now identified as Peter Parker, in Mysterio's death."

"Yeah, but Mysterio was a guy in a costume. I mean, how are we supposed to trust the Avengers or S.H.I.E.L.D. or any other threat management agency when they can't stop a disgruntled employee from getting a hold of a high tech weapons system?"

"Maybe we should stop corporations like Stark Industries from creating them before we…"

Pepper swiped the show off of the screen. "You'll have to learn to manage being a public figure. You'll be subject to more accountability, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's not exactly a normal high school experience, but neither is being Spider-Man."

"But Stark…"

"Peter, let me handle the company. I have a team of PR people, lawyers, and a whole lot of favors I can call in if I need to."

He slumped back. "I know you didn't have to do that press conference yourself. So...thank you."

"You're family." Pepper set forward and took Peter's face in her hands. "I need you to understand that. But I also understand that Tony left you with a mantle that's heavy, and you don't have to take it up now or ever if you don't want to. You don't owe it to him or to me or even to yourself." She pulled back then. Pepper knew she wasn't Peter's mother. But she wasn't exactly his peer either. 

"But you said I needed to be better than him…"

"Peter…" She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "That doesn't mean you have to be him."

"Okay," he said quietly as if only to fill the silence. 

Pepper let him have his time back. She had work to do, and she needed to immerse herself in it. That was what she did. She worked and she parented. The chinks between the two parts of her life were few, and she filled them with either more work or Morgan because if she didn't, if she was left alone with her thoughts for too long, there were too many unresolved feelings lingering for her to deal with all at once. 

*****

The blanket fort was probably one of the best ones May had ever made, but that was mostly because there were about a million blankets and comforters stashed around Pepper's place. She could remember doing this with Peter and how he loved every minute of it, begging her to let him sleep in them for the night. Morgan lay on her stomach on one of the big pillows practicing her reading with a Peppa Pig book. Pepper was right: Morgan was bright. 

When Morgan finished, she sat up and crossed her legs criss-cross-applesauce. "Can we call Mommy?"

"I don't see why not. She should be settled in for the night at her hotel, right?" May pulled out her phone and scooted to Morgan's side. She pushed her glasses up at the bridge of her nose as she scrolled for Pepper's contact and the phone began to ring. 

When Pepper answered the FaceTime call, she was taking off a pair of reading glasses, a look of concentration fading from her face as she saw Morgan's face. The corners of her eyes wrinkled as she smiled. "Hi, sweetheart."

"Mommy, we made a tent!"

"Wow, I can see that. 

"I'm gonna sleep in it tonight."

May was letting Morgan hold the phone, giving them their time, but she knew Pepper could hear her say, "Ah, the jury's still out on that."

Morgan rattled on about their day the way kids tend to do, and May found herself smiling. She wondered if these moments of normalcy, these little mundanities made Pepper feel as grounded as they did her. Every time Peter left dirty clothes lying on the floor of the bathroom, every time he set the coffee maker for her when he left early for something at school May relished it. She felt normal, sane. 

"Why don't you go put your PJs on while I have a chat with May, okay?"

Hearing her name brought May back to herself, and she smiled as Morgan handed her the phone and crawled out of their makeshift tent. 

"Hope you don't mind that we raided every linen closet in this place," May said. 

"At this point in our lives, I'd re-fold every sheet in Manhattan if using them to make a tent made Morgan smile." Pepper looked tired, and May felt her own chest tighten at the memory of that kind of raw grief. "Thank you again for taking over. Ilse should be back tomorrow, and I can ask her to stay nights…"

"Oh, don't worry about the nights," May said, waving her hand. "Seriously, I'm happy to hang out with Morgan."

"Thank you."

"How's Peter? I mean, I'll call him before bed, but I just… He seems so _broken_."

"I had him fitted for a suit today. I still can't decide if it's the best idea for the optics. He still looks like a kid in it but a responsible, respectable kid…"

"Pepper…" May shifted, holding the phone closer, "how _is_ he."

"I'm sorry." Pepper pinched the bridge of her nose. "He's sad, confused. He's struggling with what he thinks he should be, with everything that has happened…"

"No offense, Pepper, but I already know that."

"He's a kid with an adult sized problem, and he's not letting himself off the hook for not knowing how to handle it properly." Pepper ran her fingers through her hair. "He'll be okay, May."

"Thank you for saying that."

"I'm not just saying it…"

Beneath the well worn, well rehearsed resolve, May could see Pepper's weariness. She wondered how many times this woman cried, how many times she felt hopeless and alone and like she couldn't keep going. May was almost ready to ask, but she heard the rustle of fabric as Morgan crawled back in beside her, and she handed the phone over so Pepper could say goodnight. 

Morgan expertly ended the call and handed the phone over to May before snuggling close to her. She was absolutely relaxed, entirely at ease. And that made May smile. She'd loved little moments with Peter when he was Morgan's age. It was amazing how quickly she'd fallen in love with him even though taking him in had scared the hell out of her. She and Ben had barely talked about having kids of their own, except to establish that it wasn't a priority for either of them. But then there was Peter--sweet and quiet and so smart but so much in need of someone to take care of him. Of course, May had never been able to keep up with how smart he was. She wouldn't be surprised if Morgan ended up just as smart. But she'd always been able to make him laugh and to make him feel loved. 

"Aunt May?" Morgan said, breaking May's thoughts. 

May smiled. It was nice to be someone else's Aunt May. "Yeah, sweetheart?"

"I miss Mommy."

May wrapped her arms around Morgan and pulled her close. She missed Peter. More than that, she was worried. He should have been enjoying the last few weeks before school started again, worrying about taking his girlfriend on dates...not any of this. "I know. But she'll be back soon, and we'll have so much fun, it'll seem like no time."

"Can I sleep with you?"

May wasn't sure what Pepper would think of that, but she looked down into those endless brown eyes, and she couldn't refuse. Her mind went to the nights Peter fell asleep next to her or when she woke up with him in her bed. "Of course. Why don't we have a camp out in our tent?"

Morgan grinned, a little twinkle in her eyes. And May let herself be swept up in the moment of childish joy, if only so she could push her worry away for a little while. 

*****

Tony's congressional hearing had been a shit show. It had been years. There had even been other hearings, but Pepper had not forgotten that one--the one after he became Iron Man. And while this was absolutely not the same thing, Pepper felt like it may as well have been. She'd paced her hotel suite before the sun had come up, and even when that energy expended, Pepper felt like a live wire when they were seated before the committee. 

But Pepper pushed through, just like she'd been pushing through for months. Once the second day of testimony--the day Peter testified--was finished, Pepper wanted to feel relieved. But relief meant Pepper would need to step back, acknowledge the stress and anger and grief. As she and Peter left the chamber Rhodey gently took her elbow. 

"You guys did good. This will blow over."

"Thank you." Pepper smiled graciously as they walked. "But I'm not sure the committee agrees."

"Yeah, well, they rarely do."

"So...what's going to happen now?" Peter asked, shifting his weight from one foot to another. 

Rhodey squeezed his shoulder. For a flash, Pepper thought about how much of a shame it was that he didn't have a family of his own. 

"A lot of paperwork, and a lot of politicians doing a lot of talking without accomplishing much. Look, Peter, the important thing is that you didn't murder anyone and the world knows it… And you're not going to end up in some kind of study designed to militarize what happened to you."

"Yeah, but...what about Pepper and Stark Industries?"

"Well, that's…" Rhodey glanced to Pepper, eyes concerned. 

"Our analysts are predicting a drop in our shares, but it's nothing we won't recover from. The board could try to have me declared unfit, but it would be difficult. They could also try to arrange a hostile takeover. Peter there are any number of consequences. They're mostly the same consequences I face every time I make a major pivot or a product goes wrong. This is just part of what I do."

"I just...don't want to be the reason Tony's legacy...blows up in our faces."

The guilt and anguish in his voice pounded on the walls around Pepper's heart. She pulled him into a hug. "You're part of his legacy. You and Morgan. I'm not letting anything destroy that."

*****

When the door opened, May had to squash the urge to run to hug Peter practically at the same speed Morgan ran to Pepper. Instead, she let him come to her, and to her surprise, he was the one who initiated the hug. It was quick, and the way he flopped onto the sofa after he pulled away was almost enough to make one think he was a regular teen. 

While Morgan chatted away at Pepper about how Ilse, her nanny, had tried and failed to recreate May's blanket fort that day, May popped into the kitchen to pour both Pepper and herself a glass of white. There wasn't a hair out of place on Pepper, but something told May she was tired. And she felt like it was the least she could do as a guest. 

It was polite. It was nice to have both of them back and to have another adult to talk to. Peter might as well have been one, but before everything happened, his giddiness over MJ reminded her that he definitely was not. 

"Thought you could use this?" May said, coming back into the room.

Pepper smiled as she accepted, and the way it lit her face, making her blue eyes particularly luminous, left May momentarily breathless. 

"Wow, thanks," Pepper said before taking a long sip. "When can you move in permanently?" 

May laughed. "I don't think you'd be saying that if you'd had my cooking--frozen waffles aside."

"Oh, that reminds me," Pepper said as she let Morgan tug her by the hand into the living room, "I want to take you to dinner."

May felt herself flush. She was thrown off kilter for the space of a breath. Though it seemed like much longer than that. 

"To thank you," Pepper went on, "for being so good with Morgan while I was gone."

"Oh." May tried not to let her laugh sound surprised, and in her ears it came out more hysterical. "You don't have to do that. Seriously. It was my pleasure. She's such a great kid. Reminds me a lot of Peter at that age."

"I know. But I want to."

They sat together on the loveseat because Peter and Morgan were having a pillow fight on the sofa. Pepper squeezed May's hand. 

"You've been so kind when you and Peter are going through so much."

"Pepper…" May found herself laughing yet again as she looked around the room. "Look at what you're doing for us. It's the least I can do. And like I said, Morgan is a pleasure."

"Well…" This time it was Pepper laughing and there was almost joy in it. "We could sit here all night thanking each other or we could have another glass before I need to put Morgan to bed."

May smirked as she took Pepper's glass and stood. Nice. That's what this was. To have a friend, to have someone who knew loss, who knew the insanity of life with a superhero. That's what May told herself. 

When she came back with glasses that were maybe a little overfull, Morgan had her arms wrapped around Peter's neck from behind and was hanging on as he ran around the coffee table. 

"Morgan, you'll hurt Peter."

"Oh, it's fine. Really," Peter said smiling until May shot him a _don't argue with the only person in the room who has actually given birth to a child look._

"Yeah," Morgan said, voice bright, "he's Spider-Man!"

"Uh, hey, Morgatron, let's race to see who can brush their teeth first."

She slid off of his back and crossed her arms. When she raised her eyebrows, even May could see Tony Stark. "What do I get if I win?"

"How about a bedtime story from me?"

"Deal."

May thought about handing Pepper her glass and taking a seat on the sofa, but she found herself back on the loveseat. Pepper had folded her legs underneath her. She had this way of looking completely at ease without seeming small or fading into the background. That ease was enviable. 

"Sorry. Peter just wasn't thinking."

"It's fine. He's right, and I don't think that's going to entirely undermine my parental authority. It's hard to be the bad cop all the time."

"I hear that." May clinked her glass against Pepper's. "That was pretty mild for a bad cop, though, if that's all you've got."

Pepper smirked over the rim of her glass. "You'd be surprised."

Was that flirting? In any other context May would have returned a quip about how Pepper could try her. But she bit her tongue. Well, literally, May bit the inside of her cheek. She had no qualms with making a fool of herself but doing it in front of Pepper while taking advantage of her hospitality would have been too much. 

*****

Pepper was late, but May didn't mind. This place made the best pineapple margarita she'd ever had in her life. When Pepper texted her the address, May had been surprised. It wasn't somewhere fancy in the middle of Manhattan or a way too trendy, Instagram perfect hipster place somewhere else. This was just a neighborhood restaurant with all the character of a place that was well loved by owners and patrons alike. That told May something about Pepper. No, it actually just confirmed everything she'd learned over the past few weeks. Pepper Potts had the poise of a dancer and the balls of a boxer, but she was still somehow so _real_.

She smiled as the server showed Pepper to their table, a small, corner booth meaning that they were sitting almost side by side. May smiled as Pepper got settled by slipping off the light blazer she wore and folding it neatly. 

"I'm so sorry," Pepper said, slightly breathlessly. 

There was a flash where May wondered how else Pepper sounded when breathless, and she wondered where exactly that had come from. "Oh, don't be. I could sit here all night drinking these." She lifted her glass.

"Pineapple margarita?" Pepper smirked. "Maybe it's a good thing I got here. They're stronger than they taste." She glanced at the server who placed the same drink in front of her and nodded her thanks. 

"Your usual, Ms. Potts."

"Thank you. Could we have guacamole verde to share while we decide?"

"Of course. Please, take your time."

May had one of her eyebrows raised. "Come here often?"

"I ended up here one day in the pouring rain...god, it must have been twenty years ago. Tony suddenly wanted empanadas." She rubbed the back of her neck as she smiled. "We were down in legal in a meeting that was, of course, important."

"Oh, no." May chewed the cocktail straw in her now empty drink. 

"Oh, yes. He walked out of the conference room, stood on top of a table while he whistled for everyone's attention. Someone suggested this place and the rest is history."

"Honestly, I'm having more trouble seeing you drenched and fetching empanadas than I am the rest of it."

When Pepper laughed, May realized she hoped that would be the outcome when she said it. Because Pepper's laugh was a delight she was starting to want to overindulge in.

"I had been his assistant for maybe two weeks, and absolutely no one was going to do it for me." Pepper rolled her eyes. 

"My first job at a publishing house was like that. Awful. Everyone expected me to be the receptionist."

By dessert, the lights were lower than when May had gotten there and her stomach hurt either from eating too much or laughing or both. The food was amazing, and even through the haze of being tipsy, May savored the chance to have an adult conversation with an actual adult who wasn't a coworker or an Avenger or a barista who, rightfully, didn't really give a shit if she was having a nice day. 

"I can't remember," May said as she leaned back into the booth and slumped a little, "the last time I had such a good meal with such great company."

"It's the least I could do. The meal… I'm not so sure about the company." Pepper spooned the last of the pudding-like concoction she'd ordered and sighed. "I can't… You have it…"

"Are you kidding? I'm about this close," May said, putting her thumb and index finger close together, "to unbuttoning my pants."

"Taste this, and I promise we can both unbutton our pants in the car on the way home."

May leaned forward, taking the bite from the spoon as Pepper held it up. Maybe it was just the rum, but her mind strayed beyond the simple comfort of getting out of her clothes. She forced herself to focus on the taste of that last bite. It was the rum, and she was being ridiculous. 

****

When they got home, Morgan was in bed and Peter was half asleep on the sofa with a video game controller on his chest. After Pepper and May said their goodnights, Pepper went straight to her bedroom. She felt lighter even though the day had been so long, and she realized that she hadn't done anything social for...years. The snap had been so brutal, so traumatic that she and Tony--and so many others--kept to themselves. After his death, it seemed pointless to change that. 

When she turned on the bathroom lights, she lowered them to half power and twisted the shower on so that the water would be lukewarm--better for the skin that way. When she stepped into the stream, Pepper adjusted it to the hardest setting and turned her back, letting it beat against her shoulders. The dinner had been a gesture of gratitude, but it made her realize that her life was in a holding pattern where she went through each day just to get through it. 

Skin be damned, she turned up the heat, letting it almost scald her chest and then the back of her neck and shoulders. 

The space of the shower felt empty without Tony there. How many times had he slipped in beside her, kissing her neck, her jaw, pushing her against the wall to fuck her, making her late for work. She caressed her breasts, pinching her nipples just to feel something. She pinched them harder, until she cried out. And she pressed her palm between her legs. 

The water hammered her back. Pepper grasped for the memory of Tony's mouth, his tongue, his teeth on her clit. She circled it, scraped it with her nail, pushed her fingers into herself roughly. She wasn't sure when Tony's face became May's, when the words whispered in her mind to edge her closer came from May's lips. It wasn't until she came, May's name a barely audible breath slipping from her lips, that Pepper realized. She breathed deeply, turned the water to cold and put her face in the stream. She was tired. She was so tired. 

*****

When May walked into the laundry room, Pepper was already there, folding towels. She smiled and shifted her laundry basket from her hip as she got to the washing machine. 

"This isn't exactly what I pictured a CEO doing on a Sunday afternoon."

Pepper scoffed softly. "Not so far removed from the glamor of the boardroom, let me tell you."

"I bet." May opened the machine and tossed items in. She wasn't one for sorting by color. For too long, she'd lived in buildings with coin operated machines or none at all. Sorting was expensive. Washing everything on cold wasn't. Once she was done, she turned for the detergent pods. May's hand bumped Pepper's as Pepper spread out a still warm towel. 

"Sorry," they both said at the same time.

May tossed the pod in and leaned against the machine after starting it. She nodded to the pile of freshly cleaned sheets in one of Pepper's baskets. "Don't tell me you actually fold those."

"Yeah. I love getting into bed with really crisp sheets. Don't you?"

May took up one end of a sheet while Pepper took the other. "I've never really cared. Neither did Ben."

"Absent minded professor?" Pepper asked. 

"My absent minded professor." May was aware of how silly, how dreamy that sounded. But it was true. With the benefit of time it was easy to just remember how much she loved Ben, how sweet their life had been, instead of dwelling on things like the way he stirred sugar into his coffee so aggressively it always left a sticky ring on whatever surface he randomly set the cup on. "Folding sheets took time...away from books or telling Peter a bedtime story or birdwatching."

"You would go birdwatching?"

That made May laugh outright so hard that she snorted. "Oh, god, no. I couldn't tell a wren from a redbird. Peter and I would chase each other around the park, probably scaring all his birds away."

Pepper smiled softly, eyes clouding a little. "My grandmother had this bird feeder, and she always knew what the birds were called."

"Is she the one who taught you to fold sheets?"

"Yeah, but," Pepper said, her smile widening, "at least I don't iron them like she did."

Just because she hated folding her sheets didn't mean she didn't know how to. Her Nana had been pretty insistent about that. They came together, corners meeting, and their fingertips touched as Pepper took hold of both sides. The cooling fabric slipped through May's hands as she took up the new corners at the crease. They came together again, shortening the sheet further, and for a moment, they were so close, May could feel Pepper's breath. If she weren't in wedges, it would have ruffled the baby hairs around her forehead. Then she stepped back and watched as Pepper expertly folded the rest. 

"Is your shampoo natural?" Pepper asked, the casual tone a little forced. "It's such a nice balance of citrus with patchouli."

"Oh, yeah...it's a pressed bar." May pushed her hair behind her ears, caught off guard that Pepper had even noticed. "So, what's the magic trick for the fitted sheet?"

Pepper laughed as she pulled it out and popped it, May catching the other side. "The magic trick is fold it the best we can, then tuck in anything that doesn't fit."

"I can get behind that."

May wondered if Pepper did this to ground herself when she could have hired someone just as easily. The nanny was a necessity--May got that. But Pepper seemed to spend every moment she could with Morgan or just doing the normal work of parenting, running a household. Sorting socks, sweeping crumbs...those were all things that were tangible, things that kept you busy. May knew exactly how keeping busy could help distract from other feelings--or any feelings at all. 

"Pepper," May began as she slid onto the table they'd been using to fold the pillowcases, "are you okay?"

Pepper slid her basket off of the table and settled it on her hip as she cocked her head. "Yeah, of course." Her smile was strained. May knew it because she'd seen it in the mirror too many times. 

"I don't mean to pry. Well, okay I do. Can't help it." May leaned forward. "You're probably one of the most put-together people I've ever met. I mean, even right now in joggers and a t-shirt. You don't even flinch when Morgan has a tantrum, which is totally normal for a kid her age, let alone one who has lost her father so suddenly."

"What are you getting at?"

May could see Pepper was drawing inward, so she hurried on. "I'm not even remotely qualified to counsel anyone in grief, but it seems like you're still in the denial stage. Denial and anger are...the easiest ways to survive, I've found."

Pepper drew in a breath, and there it was. May saw the raw edges of Pepper's heart in the space it took for Pepper to exhale. Then that window closed, and Pepper's smile was tight. "I'm fine. Thank you." She hesitated, like she wanted to say more when instead she turned on her heel, leaving May alone. 

May threw her head back, rolling her eyes at herself. Pepper had asked them into her home to help--a kindness above and beyond what was necessary. She hadn't asked for impromptu group grief therapy. The sound of the machine's soft bell signaling the end of the quick cycle startled May so much that she flinched, kinking her neck. She slid off of the table and rubbed the back of her neck, trying not to shake her head at herself or to think too hard about why she suddenly cared so much about how Pepper Potts felt about her. 

*****

The news cycle had started to turn in Peter's favor. Pepper anticipated that much early on. The Mysterio business was easy to unravel. The fact that Peter was an actual hero and a nice kid to boot also helped a lot. She didn't even need to make sure Stark Industries' publicist was getting testimonials out there. People just came forward. Spider-Man saved their dad, helped their grandmother across the street. He even saved two kittens from a drain.

Pepper sat in the green room of Colbert's Late Show and watched as Peter blushed, looking absolutely charming and humble as Stephen asked about Peter's role in the battle after the snap was undone. Then there were the animals. Pepper made sure to get him on the same episode as Bindi Irwin. Everybody loved a cute kid holding a baby kangaroo or a lemur, which was what Pepper was pretty sure was on Peter's head now as he'd switched seats with Bindi. 

The best part was when he nearly passed out when they put a tarantula the size of his face in his hands. That got a lot of laughs, and it would, Pepper knew, get a lot of play--good natured kid is Spider-Man and also freaked out by a giant spider. Pepper had done a few rounds of interviews as well--NPR, MSNBC, a couple of economics podcasts--and while the company's stock had mostly recovered, she still had E.D.I.T.H. to deal with. 

"Please don't make me hold a tarantula again," Peter said as they got in the car to head home. 

"To be fair, I had no idea a tarantula would be involved." Pepper couldn't help but smile. "You did great, though. Everyone loves you, and despite how hard the Bugle is trying to change that, they're going to keep loving you."

"Thanks for, um, letting me wear Tony's shirt."

Pepper just nodded. It was optics, she told herself. There were hardcore Iron Man fans out there who would recognize the vintage tee as the one Tony wore the last time he was on the show. "You should keep it."

"Seriously?"

"Peter," Pepper said, turning to him, wanting to change the subject. "I know you've been going out at night in the suit. And I know you could have bypassed F.R.I.D.A.Y.. Did you want me to stop you?"

He sighed and looked down at his hands, not guilty but resigned. "Maybe?"

"I haven't told May."

"Yeah, I know. She would have flipped out on me already." He half smiled. "What we did with Thanos...what the Avengers do, I mean, it's huge. Everything Tony did had such a big impact. But I...I just feel like I need to keep doing what I was doing because...it's what I'm good at. But I don't know if it'll ever feel like enough."

"You don't have to be Tony, Peter. That's not what he wanted." She turned back to the window, looking out as it began to rain. "And I won't tell May, but you really should, even if she freaks out."

"Can I...um…" Peter shifted and went silent. When Pepper looked at him, she realized he was blushing. 

"What is it?"

"Are you and May...like, a thing?" Before Pepper could really even process what Peter was saying, he went on, words tumbling from his lips, "It's just, you guys have been to dinner a few times, and I mean… May seems, I don't know... I just, um, oh my god, I have no idea why I'm saying all this. I just can't ask May because she's May and it's...wow, probably none of my business, if you guys… I mean, you're...adults…" He scrubbed the back of his neck. "Just, um, forget I said anything."

"May is probably happy because your reputation is safe," Pepper said quietly as they pulled into the private area of the parking garage. "And that's…"

"It's okay, just...it's cool. I'm gonna take the stairs. Yeah. I could use the workout…"

He fled the car almost before it had stopped, and Pepper let him go. She let him go because she didn't want to answer. She didn't want to think about it at all. Engaging her feelings was a slippery slope, so Pepper shrugged it off as a kid seeing something that couldn't be there. But if it was… Pepper physically shook her head, forcing the thoughts away. It wasn't. It couldn't be. 

*****

Ultimately, Pepper found herself alone in Tony's study--such as it was. The room was more her than him with its warm neutrals, tasteful accents of leather, and carefully arranged shelves. But the custom worktable, an earlier version of the one Tony had at the cabin, stood dark and empty, calling attention to itself even though the room was crafted to make it seem like just another piece of furniture. 

Pepper walked around, absently running her fingers along the spines of the books. She stopped at a framed cut out of their engagement announcement in the _Times_. The words blurred together. When she turned away, a glint caught Pepper's eyes. What drew her was a crystal decanter engraved with Tony's initials and two-thirds full of scotch. The lights of the skyline caught in its cut edges, drawing Pepper to it. She picked it up and pondered it's weight, wondering what it would feel like if she smashed it against the floor to ceiling window. Which would break first?

It had been a gift from Obadiah, one Pepper didn't know Tony had kept. Pepper pulled out the stopper and breathed in the scent of the brandy inside. She could still remember what it tasted like on Tony's mouth. 

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., bring up video 842 dash 19." Pepper remembered the numbers for them all, but she had an eidetic memory. Most people didn't know that. But why would they? It was such a small thing compared to Tony's genius. 

Pepper sat heavily on the sofa as the video materialized over Tony's workspace. She saw him smiling as he crossed his ankle over his knee, sitting in the same studio she and Peter had just been in. 

"Mute," Pepper said as Tony drew in a breath to speak. She couldn't hear his voice. Not now, not when the last time was at his funeral. So, she just watched, and she brought the decanter to her lips. The bottle seemed so heavy, and the scotch bit at the back of her throat as the ghost of Tony laughed soundlessly in front of her. 

The bite was still there after the second sip, the third, maybe the fourth. At some point, the scotch stopped biting, and Pepper wasn't sure how many times the video had repeated. But she wanted the numbness in her lips and the tips of her fingers to reach her mind, her heart. 

The knock at the door didn't startle Pepper. She barely registered it until the door was opening. Pepper worked her fingers over the heavy stopper while she drew in a breath, trying to center herself. 

"Hey, Pepper, I saw the light and…"

Pepper didn't stand, but she quickly swiped the video away. "May, hi." She didn't trust herself to say more. Her fingers were tingling, and Pepper knew if she stopped now, drank enough water, and took a couple of anti-inflammatories, she probably wouldn't feel too bad in the morning. 

"I just wanted to let you know that Morgan had a little sniffle when I put her to bed tonight. No fever though, so I think we can just wait until the morning to see how she is." May stepped inside and closed the door behind her. 

"Thank you."

"Everything ok?" May asked as she sat down next to Pepper. 

Pepper passed May the decanter. "There are glasses," she said, waving her hand to a vague spot behind them, "somewhere if you want one."

May sniffed and then took more of a swig than a sip. "Oh, shit, that hurts." May took another drink. "Why do people drink this? It's like dirt and burning."

Pepper laughed--really laughed. She couldn't say she disagreed. "Tony preferred it."

"Ben liked wine...and cheap beer."

"I honestly can't remember the last time I had cheap beer." Pepper looked up at the ceiling, squinting as if the answer would appear there. "College, maybe. Or when I was getting my CPA."

"You're an accountant?" May raised one eyebrow. 

"Guilty," Pepper said as she raised the decanter in a mock toast. "Corporate accountant to executive assistant to chief executive officer. Not exactly a typical career path."

"It's not that." May took the decanter from her and took a sip. "It's just that every accountant I've ever met has seemed pretty…"

"Boring?"

"Well, yes, but I was trying to be polite."

"Mm, but it's true...well." She sank further back into the sofa. "Anyone was boring next to Tony."

They were silent for a while, simply passing the decanter back and forth. With someone else there, Pepper didn't have to think about Tony. She watched May's eyes. They were so wide, bright, and she stared at Pepper intensely, even as she took a sip. 

"Pepper…" May reached out and took one of Pepper's hands, twining their fingers together. "Why do you keep holding it all in?" she rubbed her thumb over the back of Pepper's hand. "For months after Ben died, I was fine one minute and the next...crying into my toothbrush, my coffee, screaming into the sofa cushions. The more I tried to hold it together, the worse it was."

"May…"

But May went on. "I survived, though. Peter and I ended up fine. Different...but fine."

"Why do you keep pushing?" Pepper asked without thinking. She covered her mouth with her hand as soon as all of the words were out. 

"I care about people...you, I care about you, and I mean, I guess I'm only a therapist when I'm tipsy, but it doesn't seem healthy. Plus, I don't think it's fair how good you are at keeping your shit together. There, I said it."

Again, Pepper laughed. But she couldn't stop laughing, and she didn't know where it was coming from, how it kept falling from her lips like a magician's handkerchief because she felt so hollow. "He discovered time travel," she said, gulping for breath, "so he could save the world and give everyone the people they loved back. And he didn't come back. Because...of course." Tears were falling down her cheeks now, but it wasn't because she was sad. It was because she felt helpless with rage. 

Pepper looked down at the stopper in her hand. She closed her fingers around it and hurled it at the wall. It hit with a thud and unsatisfyingly fell to the floor intact. "We had everything, and he gave it up for everyone else."

Breathing life to those words, words she'd kept locked in her heart so as not to admit them, made Pepper close her eyes. The selfishness of being angry at one man for sacrificing himself for countless others was monstrous. And she was that monster. 

"Because that's what heroes do," May said quietly. "Yeah, fuck that."

"I can't...live like this," Pepper spoke each word carefully, trying not to sob. "I can't fall apart. I don't have time to fall apart." She swiped at her eyes and took another drink. "And I don't know any other way but moving forward."

"There isn't a way around grieving." May's voice was soft as she leaned her head against the back of the sofa and accepted the decanter. 

They passed it back and forth until it was empty. Pepper's throat was so tight from the tears that each swallow was as painful as the memories of Tony that would never leave her. Her cheeks were sticky, eyes raw, but Pepper realized she felt less like a husk of a woman. And flushed with her own humanity, she almost didn't realize she was kissing May.

She knew it wasn't a dream because the scotch tasted different in May's mouth, and Pepper could _feel_ her own immediate arousal as May deepened the kiss, pulling her close. When they pulled apart, Pepper knew, even in the haze of her thoughts, that this was the moment to stop, but she didn't want to stop. Stopping. Standing still. That was what she had been doing for months. 

They didn't speak. Pepper straddled May's lap, and as they kissed, she thought she'd never felt something as luxurious as running her fingers through May's hair. It was soft. May was soft. Pepper explored her body after they'd tumbled to the floor, laughing. She ran her fingers along the curves of May's breasts, down her belly, along her hips. They tugged at each other's clothing, removing each piece with the ease of women who found no mysteries in their sisters. 

Pepper found herself on her back, May smiling above her. The little wrinkles around May's eyes deepened when she laughed, and Pepper was mesmerized by that easy beauty. She arched into May's touch, the feel of fingertips on her nipples, the softness of May's thigh between her legs. They were wrapped up in each other, legs entwined, moving as one against each other's thighs. When Pepper came, she pressed her cheek, wet with fresh tears, to May's and let herself cry out. May's voice joined hers, and it filled Pepper. She could taste the relief they shared. 

Pepper closed her eyes as they both lay on their backs. She was exhausted. 

*****

Coffee was May's priority. And a jug of water. She was never drinking scotch again. May had always been the type of person who didn't experience intense hangovers, even as she aged, but this was another level of feeling disgusting. She sipped her coffee and silently thanked whatever energy was out there that Peter liked to play his video games on mute. 

"So," he began, pausing to take a gulp from the mug of coffee May had brought him, "where'd you go last night? You look totally hungover. I mean...uh, you look great but also hungover."

"What are you, my mother?"

"What? No...I just...super hearing, you know?" He tapped one of his ears. 

May was glad the study wasn't anywhere near Peter's suite. She took a long sip of her coffee, hiding behind the mug. At least May knew Peter wouldn't push too hard. He was always worried about her, always caring, trying to look out for her. But he was also a teenage boy. 

"So what if I'm hungover?"

Peter raised his eyebrows, and then he shifted uncomfortably. "I, um, might have put my foot in my mouth with Pepper…"

May coughed as she choked on her coffee. "What?"

"Uh…" Peter puffed out his cheeks and blew out the breath. "It's not a big deal, I just...um, I don't want you to be blindsided if she brings it up or anything… Sooo…"

"Peter, what the hell?"

"I asked if you guys were dating or something, which I know is like...weird. But, I just…"

"Oh, my god, Peter." May tried to hide how flustered she felt. Were they dating? No. It was just...a friendship out of necessity. And the night before was just… They were drunk. Things happened. They were adults, and May was pretty sure it wasn't going to happen again. She absolutely wouldn't say no if it did, though. 

"I know! Sorry." Peter drained the rest of his coffee. "Can we just forget about it, okay?"

"Yep. Yes. We can." They both stared at the TV for too long to be comfortable before May said, "I can't believe you freaked out when they put a tarantula on you."

He rolled his eyes, but Peter was grinning too. "Don't go on twitter. I'm never going to live this down."

May smirked. He would, and they would laugh about it more someday. But she wasn't sure she was ever going to get over fucking Pepper Potts in her dead husband's study while they both cried. Or the fact that even Peter, of all people, could tell there was something going on. 

****

"Mommy!"

Pepper groaned silently in her mind. Opening her eyes seemed like a bad idea and rolling over even worse. The fact that she couldn't remember the last time she'd been hungover was either because it had been a lifetime ago or because the pounding right behind her eyes made it hard to think. But it didn't matter, because within seconds of calling to her, Morgan was on top of Pepper trying to pry her eyelids open as gently as a five year old could. 

"Mommy, I want brunch but not here...on the roof with all the plants and the fried chicken and the pig!"

This time Pepper did groan. She couldn't help herself, but she was smiling as she opened her eyes and pulled Morgan into her arms, tickling her. Both the movement and the shrieks of laughter made Pepper wish she'd just played dead. She nearly laughed out loud at just how awful and morbid that thought was. 

"You don't want waffles?"

"Noooo, brunch! With Peter and Aunt May."

This time Pepper swallowed the groan and tried to carefully control her face. She didn't know if it was just Morgan or every other kid her age on the planet, but Morgan could spot the most minute change in her expression. Especially now. Especially without Tony there. This was worse than a college one night stand, and the last thing Pepper wanted to do was explain to Morgan why she looked upset. So, she smiled again and forced herself to sit up. 

"Well, why don't you go see if Peter and May are up while I get in the shower. Deal?"

"Deal!" Morgan was scrambling off of the bed and running out of the room before Pepper even had her feet on the floor. She felt mildly ashamed of using her own kid to invite May to brunch, but Pepper couldn't face her yet. 

She drug herself into the bathroom and winced at her reflection. Pepper wasn't vain. She cared about her appearance and she didn't mind that she was aging. Though, this morning, she faced a pale reflection with deep circles under her eyes. It wasn't just a night of drinking too much and crying every tear she'd been holding in for months. Pepper knew she desperately needed a break just as much as she was avoiding taking one. 

Pepper turned the shower water to cold and stepped into the stream, letting it fall on her face. She and May were adults. That's what she told herself. They were adults who could acknowledge they hadn't both been totally in control. Then they could move on. 

*****

The first thing Morgan did was pull Peter over to the perfectly crafted buffet to show him the suckling pig. Pepper always found it somewhat gruesome. Tony had explained to Morgan the mechanics of roasting a whole pig, and Pepper could hear her recounting it to Peter. The thought of food was too much for Pepper, so she ordered a bloody mary with extra pickled string beans. May did the same. 

They sat silently, the sun warming them while Pepper tried to think of how to start. She watched May push her sunglasses up the bridge of her nose. The problem was that every time Pepper tried to go back to the night before, to see where she'd completely lost it, she got tangled in the memory of May's touch. The hunger it had awakened in Pepper's heart threatened to overwhelm her. 

"It's okay, Pepper," May said at last. "We don't have to talk about it."

"It's not that…" Pepper closed her eyes for a moment. "I'm just trying to figure out how to apologize."

"Don't." May waved her words away. "We both got carried away with the brandy." She shrugged. Pepper couldn't see her eyes clearly behind the dark lenses. "And I think we should have something to eat before Peter decimates it."

Pepper laughed, but it didn't reach her heart. May had given her just what she wanted--an out. But instead of relief, she felt hollow. She let May go ahead of her to the buffet, and when they all settled in to eat, she was happy that Morgan was content to chatter away the latest sea creature facts she'd learned. It turned out Peter knew a lot about sea creatures as well. 

Peter had gotten a few texts, but with each one, he put down his phone without replying. Pepper didn't even think before exchanging a thoughtful glance with May. 

"Everything okay?" May asked. 

"Oh, yeah, it's...just the group text with MJ and Ned."

Pepper speared a stack of crab, tomato, and eggwhite with her fork. "You should invite your friends over."

"Oh, I don't want to…"

"Really, you should. It's fine."

"Yeah!" Morgan practically bounced in her seat. "They can play legos with me."

Peter looked between from Pepper to May, but Pepper was pretty sure he wasn't going to deny Morgan another lego playmate. It would be good for him to have his friends there. And it would be good to have more faces around the dinner table as a distraction from May's laugh, her bright eyes, and the way she tossed her hair. 

*****

It was amazing how at home a kid in jeans, sneakers, and a faded tee looked in the Stark Industries labs. Pepper couldn't actually remember the last time Tony had worked in one of the SI labs, and it was better that way. He could destroy their garage all he wanted, but she drew the line at any part of a skyscraper. But Tony had designed these labs all the same, and it was almost as if he'd envisioned Peter there. 

Pepper leaned against one of the benches. "This is one of the private labs that, as you can see, Tony never used. And outside of here, we're on the sixteenth floor of R&D."

Peter's eyes grew even wider than Pepper thought they could get. "Whoa. I thought there were only ten."

"That was Stark Tower. We started gutting this place and refitting it when Tony decided to headquarter the Avengers there. Anyway...this is your dedicated lab now."

"Seriously? Like...I can come here and...do stuff whenever I want."

"Not until you're at least twenty-one," May said from across the room where she'd been looking at one of the paintings hung there. Peter looked at Pepper for confirmation, but she was trying not to laugh. 

"Theoretically, but...apparently not until you're at least twenty-one."

"Come on, Aunt May. I could at least make web fluid here instead of on the sly in chem lab or in our kitchen…"

"Seriously?" May sauntered over to them, her arms crossed. "Is that how my vintage pyrex bowls got broken?"

Peter visibly cringed. "I was working on a new formula, and it...well, anyway. I couldn't tell you! You didn't know I was Spider-Man."

Pepper could see where this was going, and while she didn't want to step on May's toes, she didn't want Peter to be discouraged. Things were getting better, and she wanted him to have something to look forward to. "At any rate, we need to get you into the system, so why don't you head to Happy's office. He's on the bottom floor near reception. He'll get you set with an ID and show you how his security system works."

"Cool." Peter practically skipped out, and Pepper guessed he was so quick on his feet because he wanted to get out before May could stop him. 

It was difficult enough managing a superhero, being married to one, but Pepper couldn't imagine parenting one. Selfishly, she was glad that Tony had left his mantle to Peter. She didn't want this for Morgan. The very thought made her heart ache in a different way than Tony's death did. It was the ache of worry, fear. Because ultimately, she knew Morgan would choose for herself when she was old enough. The suits would respond to her if they weren't obsolete by then. But for now, the world had no Iron Man. And Pepper was trying to give it the best in Spider-Man, even though the world didn't deserve it. 

"I know this is hard," she said as she turned to May. 

"I just want him to…" May shook her head as she sighed. "Be a kid. I know...it sounds absurd given what he is. But to me, he'll always be Peter first."

Pepper took a deep breath. "Tony and I had five years of mostly peace, but he was haunted by losing Peter, by failing him more than anything else. Not Spider-Man, but Peter. And I think the reason he passed all of this on is because more than anything, Peter is just Peter."

"You know that doesn't make me feel better," May said, smiling.

"Me either. But if Peter wants to, he can turn his back on all of this."

May came to the bench and sat beside Pepper. "You know he won't."

"I know." Pepper turned to her, their faces too close. She knew and she felt ashamed of the relief in knowing that Peter would want the legacy of Iron man. Because if he took it, that mant Morgan could be Morgan Stark. She put her hand over May's and squeezed it, lingering a little too long. Then Pepper pulled away, knowing that to linger was to awaken feelings she wasn't ready to face. "I'm sorry."

*****

Pepper ordered pizzas before she even got home. Peter invited Ned over earlier in the day, and they had mostly played video games until Morgan came home from her playgroup. She was surprised by the text she got from him asking if it was okay to invite MJ for dinner. Not one friend but a friend and his girlfriend. Pepper wondered if he was trying to get it all over with all at once to appease both May and her. But that thought made it seem like much too much of a domestic situation for Pepper's liking. 

Ned was having a lightsaber battle with Morgan when MJ arrived. Peter, blanket over his head because Morgan insisted he was the Emperor, jumped up nervously. 

"Um, I'm just gonna go down to get MJ."

"It's ok to have the doorman unlock the elevator for her," Pepper said, dodging a lightsaber blow to take a seat on the sofa. 

Peter was positively squirming, which was really something. "Oh, I...yeah, I know. I just...don't want it to be weird."

Pepper let him go without further comment. She found herself looking down at her watch for maybe the fourth time in three minutes. Usually May got home before she did, but not tonight. And she hadn't left word that she would be late. 

"Agghh, oh no...you killed me!" Ned said, clutching his chest before falling over in slow motion. "Darth Vader isn't supposed to kill Luke."

"This is an alternate universe," Morgan said, deadpan. It was so much like her father that it hurt, but Pepper had to cover her mouth with her hand not to laugh. 

"Oh, okay. Then that means…" Ned got on his knees and started walking on them toward Morgan, his hands raised and in claws, "I'm zombie Luke, and I'm coming for you. Raaaaaaa!"

Morgan squealed in delight, and instead of running, she tackled Ned. Pepper wondered what it might have been like if they'd had another baby. It was hard enough to conceive Morgan. Two IUIs failed, and she'd been on pins and needles about the first round of IVF. It wasn't just that Tony had low sperm count--just one more consequence of being Iron Man--but also that Pepper had never ovulated regularly. Trying for a second when they had already been luckier than so many people, seemed like too much. 

But all of that was before Morgan became a child with only a mother. At least with a sibling, she would have someone else when Pepper was gone. Pepper looked at her watch again, swallowing a sigh. 

"I wonder what's taking the pizza so long," she murmured. She wondered what was taking May so long. But Pepper didn't have time to parse her feelings. She heard Peter come in and could tell from the sound of platforms that May was behind him. 

"I intercepted the pizza guy downstairs," May called as she headed for the kitchen. 

Peter came into the living room holding MJ's hand, dropping it, then taking it again, entirely unsure of what to do with himself. But Morgan was on her feet again, hands on her hips as she stepped in front of the pair. 

"You're MJ. Peter says you're the CEO of the debate team."

"Uh, it's actually, cap…" Before Peter could finish, MJ elbowed him. 

"Yep. You must be Morgan." She knelt down and extended her hand, which Morgan shook without hesitation. 

"Yeah. My mom's a CEO too."

"That's pretty cool," MJ said as she stood again. 

Pepper raised her eyebrows as she stood, smoothing her skirt. In her stockinged feet, she stood shorter than MJ, who was wearing battered sneakers. Pepper looked her up and down before extending her hand. 

"Oh, uh, sorry...MJ, Pepper… I mean, Ms. Potts...um, I…"

"Pepper is fine. It's a pleasure to meet you, MJ."

"You too." MJ tilted her chin up, as if sizing Pepper up too, and Pepper decided right then and there that she liked her. 

May had arranged the pizza, garlic knots, and salad buffet style on the kitchen island and pulled out the compostable plates. As they all filed in, Pepper mouthed her thanks. She was grateful for the prospect of not doing dishes. 

"Is any of this vegan?" MJ asked, looking Pepper dead in the eyes. 

"No, but I'd be happy to make you something."

MJ smirked. "Just kidding. This is cool. Better get some before Peter and Ned do."

May and Pepper glanced at each other from across the island, and May raised her eyebrows. Very few people tried to make Pepper squirm at this point in her life. She revised her assessment of MJ, deciding that she definitely liked her a lot. 

"I don't know how anyone goes without cheese," May said, grabbing a plate. 

"There are a few excellent plant based alternatives," Pepper countered. She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. Pepper grabbed a plate and placed a piece on it for Morgan. 

"Mommy, that stuff is gross. Don't be silly."

"Oh, pardon me."

"She knows what's what," MJ said.

They were too many for the breakfast nook, so Pepper led them to the seldom used dining room. It seemed ridiculous--pizza and compostable plates on an antique banquet table Tony had brought from Italy--but the kids seemed to be enjoying it. 

"Aunt May, can we have fancy glasses?" Morgan asked. 

May glanced at Pepper before answering, "Okay, but only sparkling water for you."

"Can I have wine?"

This was from MJ, and Pepper said sure at the same time May said no. She was hardly going to let Morgan start drinking at five, but she saw no issues in one glass of wine for a teenager in a controlled setting. It was cultural attitudes toward underage drinking that led teenagers to binge drink anyway. She was willing to bet that was an argument MJ would use too. 

"You guys are cute," MJ said before taking a huge bite of a garlic knot. 

"MJ," Peter hissed, "oh, my god." His cheeks were flaming red, and he looked absolutely mortified. 

"Oh, are you guys…" Ned began, but Pepper saw Peter kick him under the table. He quickly filled his mouth with pizza. 

She didn't look at May, couldn't. Morgan was filling the silence with a song she was making up on the spot about pizza, so at least there was that. Pepper knew her own cheeks were flushed. She made her way into the kitchen, pouring herself another glass of wine, her movements automatic. May put a glass in front of her, and Pepper filled that too. 

"You know how teens are…"

Pepper nodded without meeting May's eyes. "Yeah, absolutely."

"Yeah."

From the dining room, Pepper could hear MJ and Peter trying to help Morgan rhyme something with 'pizza.' May had gone back in with Morgan's water and her wine, but Pepper lingered. She felt like she was moving through glue. First Peter with his questions and now his friends. One night could hardly be so obvious... Pepper had had her share of one night stands--hardly as many as Tony--some of which had even been friends. 

It was hard to acknowledge that those were different. They hadn't had such a connection, a spark. But Pepper told herself that it was grief and loneliness making her think that something was there. May said moving on was possible, and clearly she had. Tony's death was still too raw for Pepper for anything real. She took a deep breath, preparing herself to go back. It would be easier when things were less raw. It had to be. 

*****

May was honestly unsure if Pepper was really having an insanely busy week or just avoiding her. No matter how much May said they could behave like adults, actually moving on, not lingering on that night was virtually impossible. It wasn't just that she felt bad--like she'd somehow taken advantage of Pepper's grief and vulnerability. It was that when May told herself that, it didn't totally ring true. She'd gotten just as drunk as Pepper and hadn't intended it to happen. And even with those conflicted feelings, she couldn't get away from how _good_ it was. 

But Pepper had done so much for them. May felt like keeping her distance, if that's what Pepper wanted, it was the least she could do. May felt like a teen again, though, because Pepper was almost the only thing she could think about. Those piano player fingers, those intense eyes...She shook her head and tossed her gym towel over her shoulder. 

"I'm too old for a crush," May muttered to herself. 

One of the myriad of things she liked about Pepper's place was the small fitness studio. It was very zen. It probably had perfect feng shui because that seemed like the kind of detail Pepper would go for. May realized she assumed a lot about Pepper, but they were things that she felt like anyone living in someone else's home might think. And that was an easy way to tell herself she was paying attention because she was interested rather than _interested_.

May liked that there was a ballet bar. She could do those exercises then get F.R.I.D.A.Y. to play something she could do Zumba or belly dance too. The AI even dug up some silly aerobics workouts from the 90s that May absolutely loved. But when she put on biker shorts and a breezy top and headed that way, May did not expect to find Pepper and Peter already there and both doing handstand scorpion pose. May's jaw dropped. It didn't surprise her that Peter could do that. He was seventeen and he had super powers. But Pepper… _How did she get her body to bend that way?_

"Holy shit," she blurted. If Pepper could do that with her body, what else could she do?

"Oh, hi, May." Peter lifted one hand and waved before jumping to his feet in a way that definitely showed he was a superhero. Pepper, on the other hand, slowly unwound her body, the muscles in her back and shoulders straining in long curves against her skin as she got her feet back to the floor. 

"Hi," May said, distracted, unable to take her eyes off of Pepper even though she knew her gawking was completely obvious. 

"I should get showered," Pepper said quietly. She started to roll her mat and then grabbed a towel to wipe her face and her shoulders. May could see the freckles standing out on her chest, against her collarbones. And the baby hairs around her face stuck to her skin. 

"But we didn't do the variation on the pose," Peter protested. 

Pepper was already rolling up her mat, though. "Next time. I've got to go get Morgan from her play date." As she walked past May, she only smiled, but Pepper didn't meet May's eyes immediately. "Oh, I wanted to let you know that Morgan and I are going to spend some time at the cabin. So, you'll have the place to yourself this week." 

"Oh, are you sure?" May felt a pang but dismissed it. "Are we…"

"No, not at all." Pepper's smile was strained, and May wasn't sure if it was what happened between them or everything else the cabin brought with it. But Pepper didn't linger, and May swallowed a sigh as she went to the bar to stretch. 

"Since when do you do yoga with Pepper Potts?"

"Oh, it's super cool, right? Pepper said I should try it because it would help me have more precise control over my strength if I was ever without the suit."

"Super cool," May repeated as she rolled her eyes. "Have you talked to Ned lately? MJ?"

In the mirror she could see Peter scratch the back of his head. "A little."

"Good." May let it go at that. She wasn't going to try to pry more out of him, not yet at least. The fact that Peter was talking to his friends again was enough. And it wasn't fair to try to use him to distract herself from the creeping feelings of hurt and disappointment Pepper's announcement.

*****

It wasn't until the last few miles of the drive that Pepper's dread began to build. She slowed, drawing out the drive even though she knew it was only delaying the inevitable. They couldn't stay away from the cabin forever, and it was silly to try. The cabin was just a place--a place that Morgan knew as home, that Pepper had spent the most serene years of her life. It seemed comical to think any life with Tony could be serene, and yet…

It was like they'd never left, which was a carefully curated lie. Pepper had had it prepared for their arrival just as she'd had it prepared to be closed up when they left. She wasn't sure she'd ever come back. That's what Pepper told herself, at least. Now that the world was an overcrowded mess again, it didn't make sense to run the company from the middle of nowhere. It didn't make sense to surround herself with the walls she and Tony had so meticulously created to keep out the grief of such substantial losses while also keeping the guilty joy of their own happiness. 

But there was Morgan running to the lake, her laugh trailing behind her. "Mommy, look! The ducks are still here!"

Pepper wished she could have the simple thrill of seeing the ducks again. She made her way down to the lake and knelt beside Morgan. The ducks were still there and with a larger raft of ducklings than last year. Pepper wrapped her arm around Morgan, pulling her close. 

*****

Peter had been at the breakfast table for a few hours working on a paper that was supposed to sum up something he'd learned on the Europe trip. It was a little more technical than the usual "What I Did Over Summer Break" essay, or at least, May was under the impression that it was supposed to be. She wondered if, now that everything was out in the open, Peter would write about what happened with Beck. There was probably something education to be said about the technology he'd been using. 

"Still at it?" she asked as she started the electric kettle for tea. 

"Oh, yeah, uh...not really." He snapped the laptop shut, giving May his full attention. "There's this really crazy mint and honey blend that Pepper has. You should try it."

"I'll make us both a cup." May got down another mug and leaned against the counter. "So...I think we've maybe overstayed our welcome." Ever since Pepper left for the cabin, May had been thinking about it, but she wanted to break it gently to Peter. He was comfortable here, maybe almost happy. And she didn't want to upset him. 

"Maybe. I mean, it's been super nice and everything, but it looks like not everyone hates me now, and I've...well…" A flush crept up his neck and into his cheeks, letting May know some sort of confession was coming. "I've been going out in the suit...helping...just, not big stuff, but...I can keep us safe, May."

"Sweetheart," May said, going to him and kissing him on the top of the head, "you could have told me."

"You know I don't like it when you worry."

She was always going to worry. May worried about him before this. It was part of her job, and right now she wanted to sweep him up into a hug like she did when he was a little boy. Instead, she settled for pressing her palms to his cheeks. "We can let Pepper and Morgan know when they get back. It feels unfair to just text and leave."

"Cool." Peter opened his laptop again. He seemed content that the matter was settled. But May felt a pang. She told herself it was just because she'd miss the convenience, the fancy coffee machine and the gym. She really would miss Morgan. And Pepper. More than May was willing to admit. 

*****

Every detail in the cabin spoke of some part of Tony, of their marriage. After all, he'd built it with his own hands, pushing to finish before Morgan was born. Building it was his therapy, his way to manage his anger and grief. He built his own escape. Pepper knew she would never escape his memory, but now that she was back, she couldn't escape her grief either. The first night, she cried herself to sleep after putting Morgan to bed. The second, Pepper had to bite her pillow to keep herself from screaming. 

On the third day back at the cabin, as Pepper sat on the porch watching Morgan playing an elaborate game involving arranging piles of sticks, she realized the emptiness wasn't just grief or memory. Her memories of this place were full, warm. She was lonely. She missed the little signs that Peter was around--his shoes by the door, a backpack hanging on one of the chairs--and May. She missed May. 

Pepper felt ashamed--she had acted so immaturely with May after what happened. More than that, she was ashamed that she wanted, _needed_ company. Morgan should have been enough. But Pepper wasn't going to kid herself that motherhood should be completely fulfilling. She was a grown woman and the companionship of a child and people who worked for her weren't enough. 

"Mommy!" Morgan called, breaking Pepper's train of thought. "I wanna play tag with Peter."

"Peter isn't here, sweetheart. I can send him a picture of your...obstacle course." She reached for her phone.

"Nooo," Morgan said, running up to the porch. "I wanna go home and see Peter and Aunt May."

"Morgan…" Pepper got out of her chair and squatted down to Morgan's level, "Peter and Aunt May won't be living with us forever. They have their own home, and this is just temporary."

"But I don't want them to go away!" Pepper knew that slight rise in Morgan's voice. She was about to start wailing, and after that would come the angry tears. She didn't know if she could handle it. But there was so much about parenting as a widow that she didn't know if she'd be able to handle. 

"They won't be going away...just to their own apartment."

"No!" Now the tears. And Pepper cursed herself for being so stupid as to think Morgan wouldn't get attached and wouldn't react to the prospect of people coming into her life and then suddenly disappearing. This seemed like Parenting After the Death of One Parent 101, and Pepper couldn't believe she'd failed so miserably. 

Pepper wasn't entirely sure if Morgan was dissolving into a bundle of emotions in her arms or if she was doing the reverse. Either way, they both cried. Keeping her shit together was too exhausting, and she didn't know how much longer she could keep pushing everything into the furthest corners of her soul. 

"I miss Daddy," Morgan sobbed quietly. 

"I do too." She sank down and pulled Morgan into her lap. Pepper felt her tears drying, sticky, on her cheeks, and she knew she couldn't stay there under the weight of so many memories for another night. 

*****

It wasn't just surprise that May felt when Morgan and Pepper arrived home earlier than expected. She was genuinely happy to see them both. The penthouse felt too quiet and too big without the noise of a child, and without Pepper, it just didn't feel as warm. It was a shame she and Peter were leaving. But May told herself it was time. No one liked having guests forever. 

And yet, she thought she saw Pepper's face fall for a fraction of a second when she broke the news. There wasn't time to dwell on it, though because May suddenly had Morgan attached to her leg and in tears. 

"Hey…" May gently peeled Morgan off of her leg and settled her onto her hip. Morgan held onto her like a kid who knew she was getting too big to be carried. "It's okay, kiddo. We'll still visit. And you can come over and see all of Peter's legos."

"He can just bring them here," Morgan said, sniffing. 

"How about this," May began as she put Morgan down and knelt to be eye to eye with her, "you can come spend the night with Peter and me sometime, okay?"

Morgan did not look convinced. She looked over her shoulder to her mother, who thankfully nodded. This was a kid who knew she had been beaten but who was also plotting some sort of rebuttal for later. It was written all over Morgan's face. 

"Why don't you go unpack your backpack, okay?" Pepper said gently, nudging Morgan off toward her room. When Morgan was out of earshot, Pepper turned to May. "You don't have to go."

"Things have to get back to normal at some point."

"No, I… You're right." Pepper looked like she wanted to say more, but the silence stretched on. May had to keep herself from fidgeting like a worried teen. 

"I meant what I said to Morgan."

"Thank you. That will make the transition easier. She's been…" Pepper shook her head. "She needs people who love her."

May's breath was taken away for a moment at the rawness, the sadness in Pepper's voice. She squeezed Pepper's shoulder. "So do you, Pepper."

Slowly, May watched Pepper raise her hand, and Pepper's skin was warm as it covered her own. Their eyes met, but this time the silence between them wasn't heavy with hesitation. May didn't know who moved first, but their lips met, and Pepper didn't try to pull away. They kissed until they both came away gasping. 

"I don't know how to do this," Pepper said softly.

May couldn't help but laugh. It was relief, it was uncertainty. But she laughed all the same. "Are you saying this is something?" May felt her heart pounding in her chest. She wasn't sure she wanted Pepper to really consider her answer, but in asking, May knew she had admitted her own desires. 

"I'm so tired of...fighting to get through every day like I'm fine. And I don't," Pepper paused, shaking her head as she wiped tears away from her eyes before she'd even shed them, "know why the way you make me feel terrifies me so much."

"If we didn't feel terror or grief or pain or...love...I don't know...something poetic about not really living. Pepper...I don't know how to do this either."

"Stay."

"Are you sure?" May touched Pepper's cheek. Her heart thrilled, but she didn't want to push too far, to break what she knew was the delicate resolve that she knew came with the ebb and flow of grief. She kissed May softly again.

"Oh, hey, May, I saw Morgan, and I thought…" At the sound of Peter's voice May pulled away. She saw the flush creep into Pepper's cheeks as she turned to Peter, with his impeccable sense of timing. "Uh...sorry…"

"Did you need something?" May pulled away from Pepper and pushed her hair behind her ears and pursed her lips. 

"Nope...just...gonna go. Sorry...I...um…" Peter scuffed his heel against the floor. "Yeah. Gonna go."

Peter started to back up, and as he turned, he tripped over his feet, recovering quickly before he practically sprang out of the room. May covered her mouth with her palm, trying not to laugh. But she heard the sound of quiet laughter coming from behind her, and when she turned, Pepper was wiping her eyes again, the laughter from her lips growing louder. 

"We have to stop him from doing that." Pepper said.

"Yeah," May replied, trying to swallow her giggles, "we really do."

*****

It was difficult to wake up with May's warm body beside her. In the haze of sleep, Pepper could almost believe that it was Tony beside her. Then she was reminded again that he was gone. And each time the pain threatened to drown her. But realizing that she wasn't alone allowed Pepper to breathe. 

She listened as May began to stir and closed her eyes again. Morgan would be awake soon, and Pepper should have already been getting ready for work. May rolled over and snuggled close to her, wrapping her arm around Pepper. 

"I know you're awake."

"Pretend I'm not," Pepper whispered, nuzzling against May's neck. 

It was still new. It was still difficult for Pepper to allow herself to fall apart, to let the waves of grief overwhelm her and know she was safe. But May stayed even on the days Pepper cried in the shower until the water ran cold. The pain, Pepper knew, would dull, and the anger was already beginning to fade. But she could see how much May loved Ben, how she still grieved, and Pepper knew she would also be able to live with her grief. But more than that, she could still continue to live. 

*****

*****Epilogue*****

Peter dipped a cluster of fries in his chocolate coffee shake and shoved them in his mouth, savoring the salty-sweetness. He leaned back in his chair, taking a long sip as he watched Happy removing the pickles and onions off of his burger.

"How hard is it to hold the pickles and onions? You told them extra mayo, and they got that right." He carefully wiped his fingers with the napkin. "When were you going to tell me May was dating Pepper?"

"Dude, don't start…"

"Too late. Already started." He reassembled his burger and started to cut into it with a fork and a knife, making Peter laugh. 

"Who eats a cheeseburger with utensils?"

"Okay, first of all, I'm classy. And second of all," Happy said, pointing his fork at Peter, "I don't want to get anything on my suit."

Peter shook his head as he gathered up his own burger. "Pepper is classy. You're...you."

"I resent that."

"Ok, but seriously...you totally didn't have a real chance with May." 

"Okay, that's just rude," Happy said before carefully building a bite of burger and fries on his fork like he was on an episode of freaking Downton Abbey or something. "Come on...Pepper is my boss. It's way too soon. I gotta take care of her and Morgan."

"Pretty sure May and I can handle it," Peter said around a mouthful. "I mean, you can help...a little."

"Hey, I'm Morgan's godfather; she's named after me, you know. So, I can do more than a little taking care of her."

Peter cocked his head. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. Morgan Happy Stark." 

Happy looked so proud that Peter couldn't help but grin. He had to admit that maybe Happy wouldn't be too bad for May. He was a good guy. But it was too weird. Peter worked with him. They were like...colleagues or whatever. And Pepper was, well, Pepper. There was something about the way May smiled when she was around Pepper that Peter liked. It was like before Uncle Ben died, and seeing that made Peter both happy and sad at the same time. 

"That's cute."

"Look," Happy said, leaning forward, "you just make sure they're good with each other, okay?"

"I think they definitely don't need me for that."

Thinking about his aunt with Pepper was still incredibly weird for Peter. She was Mr. Stark's widow. She was a little scary. But it also somehow seemed right--way more right than coming back from Europe to May and Happy. Nobody could replace Uncle Ben, but nobody could replace Mr. Stark either. And he couldn't be mad at May or Pepper if they were each other's next best thing.


End file.
